In my ongoing quest to purge excess stuff from my life and never spend money on boring things ever again, and also honorable pursuits like green cleaning and emulating my adorable grandmother (in terms of knowing all the secret home remedies for things, anyway), I’ve discovered that I don’t actually need an entire walk-in closet full of tools, products and solvents for cleaning. I don’t even need a dedicated shelf, really, because everything I could ever possibly need to clean an entire house is already on a shelf in my kitchen (with the exception of one thing, which I found in the garage.) Can I get a witness:
1. WD40.
Seriously. WD40 is the only thing that’s probably not already in your kitchen…check under the sink, though, because that’s where I have mine. It gets crayon off the wall like magic.
2. Salt.
Listen, I once decrapified a little jar thing that had stuff stuck inside in an impossibly unreachable place. I put in a little water and regular table salt, screwed the lid on, and shook it like a Polaroid picture. Crap disappeared in an instant.
3. White Toothpaste
Perhaps you remember that I recently showed you that you can remove marker from the wall with white toothpaste? I have also been successful in removing SHARPIE marks from wood floors and my beloved walnut dining room table this way.
4. Olive oil
Not too much necessary. Mixed with vinegar, you have a rocking wood cleaner/polisher solution.
5. Water
When in doubt, water (alone, or mixed with any of the others) will get pretty much anything clean.
6. Baking soda
Removes odors, and mixes with vinegar to do the most awesome things ever. Baking soda-plus-vinegar brightened up all my stainless steel, made my disgusting carpet look brand new, and “bleached” my porcelain sink.
7. Vinegar
The most magical of all. Listen, I know…it’s smelly. Cut in a little lemon juice or your favorite smell-good essential oil if you must. Straight, it made stains and rust completely vanish from our toilet bowl. Mixed with this/that/the other, it will clean abso-frickin-lutely everything (check out the handy tips here for recipes and particulars.)
This is it for me, household cleaning industries of the world. No longer will I fall prey to your empty promises and hollow half-truths. Dish soap not withstanding (really, the cheapest of the cheap stuff is fine, because hot water and friction are what really makes the dishes clean), I don’t think I’ll ever need to buy “cleaning products” ever again.
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